5 little-known weapons to combat damp and battle mould

With another long, wet, rainy season upon us (which is basically every UK season), it’s time to march against moisture. Let’s kick off the operation by stocking your armoury with the right stuff to wage war against one of your home’s most dastardly foes: damp. Since you already know about using pan lids to keep steam inside the pot (instead of drenching your walls) as well as making an air gap between your couch and the wall, we can move on to a few top-secret, ghost-file tactics to defeat damp. No retreat, no surrender, comrades. This is where we fight.

1. Littering the enemy camp

Fill an old sock with silica- or clay-based cat litter, tie it off then lob it into the hostile zone. It works like a DIY dehumidifier, extracting moisture 24/7, but without the noise or energy cost.

2. Soft armour for damp strongholds

Sounds odd, but hanging absorbent fabric like tea towels or bath towels on stubborn damp walls can draw out your adversary: moisture. Just make sure to swap your textile shields out each day and dry them thoroughly.

3. Double rations of rice, chalk, charcoal and salt

Plain, untreated charcoal (think BBQ briquettes) is a sneaky way to neutralise your opponent. Put a few blocks in a breathable mesh bag (or in your old, basic-training woollies) then army-crawl them into your dampest corners. They’ll quietly suck up moisture. Chalk, uncooked rice and rock salt work in the same way.

4. Initiate pocket patrol

Save those little, square, gel packets from shoe boxes, clothing pockets, electronics and just about everything else you buy these days—or you can have your Supply Officer them from Amazon, in bulk. Scatter them in drawers, behind furniture, in your footlocker and any other damp space you suspect the enemy has infiltrated. They’re like Staff Sergeant Shortley—tiny but mighty. (For those kids or pets, go for the food-grade gel packs or those marked non-toxic.)

5. Jungle warfare

Strike alliances with plants like the air-purifying peace lily, pet-friendly spider plant, wall-crawling English ivy and the tropical Areca palm. All of them absorb humidity like a boss. Discharge the following evildoers though: ferns, rubber plants and calathea. They have sided with the opposition and will only worsen your damp issues.

Victory is imminent

Stay sharp, comrades, and remember; in the war against damp, your home is the battleground and you, trooper, are the last line of defence. Keep your socks stuffed, your rations stocked, your plants loyal and your eyes peeled for hostiles of the humid variety. Because moisture never sleeps and neither should your tactics.

Mission complete. Damp Ops general, out.